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Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Pegging is my chosen topic for this post, which is the act of a (usually) cis-female penetrating a (usually) cis-male using a strap-on dong.

Pegging has been an active part of my sexuality for about the last 7 years. I’ve had two long-term relationships where pegging featured in our play on a regular basis, and at least two other partners who expressed an interest.

It’s something that can be difficult to broach with your partner, especially if you are a heterosexual cis-male. I strongly believe that it’s worth it though. The amount of enjoyment that both parties can gain from pegging far outweighs the initial awkwardness that might arise.

The first tip I would give anyone approaching pegging for the first time is to try and have a sense of humour about it. If it’s your first time, there are going to be mishaps. I’ve had experiences where we couldn’t get the toy in, or it didn’t fit the harness, or we spilled lube everywhere; it’s totally fine for those things to happen, and if you can laugh about them, all the better! I find that having the ability to laugh when something funny happens can lead to a more open sexual encounter, too, initiating more dialogue between partners. It also means that you won’t ruin the mood if you suddenly get a giggle fit.

Open communication is also important, especially the first few times. You need to constantly check in with your bottom if they aren’t giving you feedback. Since you don’t have part of your physical body inside them, it can be difficult to tell if they’re still tight or loosening up and ready for more of the toy. Don’t be afraid to use your fingers, gloved or not, to explore their butt and feel their hole around the toy. That way, you can tell if you need more lube and how your bottom is going.

That brings me to my next point – LUBE UP! Make sure you know which types of lube are compatible with your toy. With certain materials and textures, I find that a condom helps to reduce friction and makes them easier to take. It also makes clean-up a bit easier.

The other thing I’d advise first-time peggers to do is make sure you use a decent-quality harness. Nothing ruins the mood for me more than having to keep adjusting one that’s slipping, or riding up on me. I like the Joque harness by SpareParts for most everyday play, and although I haven’t tried others from that brand, I would expect them to be high quality and sturdy. Lastly, I’d recommend starting with a soft dong without a lot of embellishments like ridges or veins, as it’ll be easier to start your bottom off with these if they’re not used to anal play.