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Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?  If so, what are they?

 

Since I’ve been involved in kink and particularly with kinky people for so long, it almost feels like second nature to me. A really obvious way that it has improved my life would be by introducing me to some of the loveliest people! A great number of my friends are kinky and I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to meet them if I hadn’t been involved in kink, furry and so on.

My initial thought when I read this question was about confidence. I think that kink is helping to rebuild my confidence sexually after it was brought down by years of a failing relationship, low self-esteem and depression. For me, being in a dominant position gives me confidence. I know that for other people, the act of submission is reassuring to them. I can understand why that is, but as a predominantly dominant person, it is only in rare cases that submitting makes me feel safe.

For the most part, the way I feel dominance is tied in with feeling flirty and sexy. I feel sometimes like I ‘perform’ sexy, and I don’t think it comes naturally to me. The acts of batting eyelashes, flashing more skin, or flirting give me a thrill and helps me to feel more appealing. If I’m already feeling attractive, then I am far more likely to slip into a submissive role.

I’ve always identified as a switch, leaning heavily on the dominant side. I’ve noticed that the more attractive and comfortable around someone I feel, the more likely I am to switch. But I doubt it would ever move past the 80:20 d:s ratio I’ve mentioned to some people!